I should be excited, but right now, trying to get my thoughts together - I'm not quite there yet.
When I found out in February I'd been drawn in the lottery for this event, I wanted to do it justice. I decided I wanted to have a similar preparation as if had for the GNW100 last year. I wanted to be as fit as I'd ever been. I wanted to be ready.
I wanted to be many things, but now I'm looking back wishing.
I wish I hadn't sprained my ankle in February. I wish I had have lost a couple more kilograms. I wis I had have gotten up in the cold a few more times. I wish I hadn't gotten sick a few weeks ago.
But that's all done now and I'm on the plane and I'm telling myself I still have time for some good solid training. And that's true.
I can also feel satisfied that I made my last weekend in Brisbane count.
On Saturday I ran one of the city's most popular cycling routes, the river loop. It was a solid 36 Ka on the road. I felt strong and I felt fit. It's a run I have up my sleeve for when I need the confidence boost that comes from knowing I was running what must others ride.
On Sunday I covered 22ks out at Bunyaville. It wasn't really enough - I should really have gone for 25 - 30ks. But it was the first time I'd really attacked a trail run since my injury. I didn't make excuses, I just ran the way I want to in my upcoming event - consistent on the flat, confident in the downhills, and steady and strong up hills.
In retrospect, I think what I was trying to do last weekend was rule a line under all this doubt so I can start fresh for my last training push, unencumbered by work and by winter.
The forecast for our first stop, Morzine, doesn't guarantee the latter, but I've promised myself some adventure and some space to reconfigure my thoughts and energy.